Highly Appropriate Jobs — Apply Now (or don't)

Step 1 of 17

Upload Your Resume

"So we can completely ignore it and ask you to retype everything below."

Your Website / Portfolio

— or upload a resume if you're old school —

📄

Drag & drop your resume here

Accepted formats: .pdf, .doc, .docx, .txt, .rtf, .odt, .pages, .latex, .md, .html, .ppt (yes, really), .jpg of a napkin sketch

✓ Resume uploaded successfully. We will now ask you to manually re-enter all of it.

By uploading, you agree to let us feed your resume into a black hole.

Step 2 of 17

Create an Account to Continue

"Because we need to email you rejection letters for the next 8 years."

Email Address * Password *

At least 12 characters

One uppercase letter

One lowercase letter

One number

One special character (!@#$%^&*)

One emoji

Must contain the name of a Greek god

At least one character from the Wingdings font

Cannot be the same as any password you've ever used, thought about, or seen in a movie

Must make your therapist uncomfortable

Confirm Password * Security Question * Security Answer *

Step 3 of 17

Now Type Everything From Your Resume Again

"We have your resume. We simply choose not to read it."

⚠ Our AI-powered resume parser found your resume "too creative to understand." Please manually enter the following 47 fields.

Legal First Name * Preferred First Name (we'll use your legal name anyway) Last Name * Name You Wish You Had

Phone Number *

Backup Phone Number *

Address Line 1 * Address Line 2

City *

State *

ZIP Code *

How did you hear about us? *

Step 4 of 17

Work Experience

"This is literally on the resume you just uploaded. We know. Keep going."

Most Recent Company * Job Title *

Start Date *

End Date * (leave blank if—just kidding, it's required)

Reason for Leaving * Describe your responsibilities in exactly 247 words *

0 / 247 words (must be exact)

Supervisor's Name * Supervisor's Phone Number * May we contact this employer? *

⚠ Please add at least 4 more positions. Gaps in employment will be judged silently.

Step 5 of 17

Vibe Check

"This is the most important part of the application. We're not kidding."

How relevant is your experience to this role?

MODERATELY ADJACENT

Completely Unrelated Vaguely Familiar Eerily Specific

How would you rate your enthusiasm for corporate synergy?

PROFESSIONALLY AMBIVALENT

Would Rather Not If I Must Disturbingly Eager

On a scale, how much do you enjoy filling out applications?

SILENTLY SCREAMING

Would Rather Eat Glass This is Fine I Live For This

How many browser tabs do you currently have open?

ENOUGH TO CONCERN IT

Under 10 (Psychopath) 30-50 (Normal) 100+ (Leadership Material)

Step 6 of 17

Cover Letter & Personality Assessment

"Tell us why you want this job. Pretend you're not applying to 40 others."

Cover Letter *

Must be passionate but not desperate. Confident but not arrogant. Unique but not weird.

Which shape best represents your work ethic? * If you were a font, which would you be? * Please explain any gaps in your resume *

Step 12 of 17 (we skipped a few, you're welcome)

Agreements & Final Submission

"Almost done! (That's a lie. There's always one more thing.)"

I agree that uploading my resume and then retyping it was a completely normal thing to ask me to do.

I understand that "we'll keep your resume on file" means it will be ceremonially shredded.

I acknowledge that I will receive 847 automated emails before hearing from an actual human.

I consent to the fact that "competitive salary" means "we Googled it and went lower."

I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions (137 pages, updated 4 seconds ago).

"Choose wisely. Or don't. We've already decided."

The "Submit" button may or may not move. This is a feature, not a bug.

We're Hiring.*

Session Expired